Yes indeed, Been like 5 years since we last talked, LOOOONG story, Well to make it short theres this guy i used to love... what do you expect? I'm a new employee, plus its my first job after graduating from college seriously when i first came in and introduced by our supervisor, He caught my attention, Not just because HES HOT..but because hes smiling at me..Being my usual self which is cheerful and always has smiles for everyone i smiled back..Thats how it started, He was introduced to me as my Team Leader, I cant look at him straight..maybe because I already liked him that time..As days passed, i looked forward coming in to work just to see him..Im not a typical girl, I dont put make ups, dont wear Dresses etc. Im a Jeans and Shirt kind of girl..Thats before, Before i met him..i never tell anyone that i like him, But he treats me really special, that made me fall for him more..We became Bestfriends, We shared a very special feeling that we never talked about nor tell our friends. We do what a usual lovers do, Date, etc. But again what we had is not clear...(This is why i dont consider him as one of my Bf's)
Worst comes to worst Indeed love is addicting, He knows everything about me, But all i hear from him is hes living with his Aunt and cousin, Ive been thinking that hes very reserved when it comes to his everyday life..Hes always in a hurry to go home, eventho i know where he lived he never invited me inside..I'm hearing rumors that hes dating someone and hes living with her..I confirmed that rumor, I accidentally saw a message on his Phone that goes like this "Babe Where are you now? i cooked your favorite food..come home quick" He didnt know that all those time im aware that hes with someone I ignore all that cuz i really love him, I confronted him once asking this, "tell me, Are you living with someone?" and he said "yeah i live with my Aunt and cousin" I closed my eyes...cuz i dont want to see him lying to me..What hurts more is that Hes sending me messages that are not supposed to be for me..Time flies soo fast that i didnt even noticed that its been 3 years and im still crazy over him.....Until..
He moved to a different company and so am i... I noticed that i dont missed him that much..We still often see each other but the feeling of excitement is not there anymore..Well I can say that Hes moooore excited to see me..Days Months, I spent it with my new friends..i dont reply back on his txt messages and even answer his phone calls, He got really mad at me and even threatened me that he'll go to my house and talk to my dad (I'm really afraid that time cuz my dad never knew that we shared something different from what they thought we are) I answered his phone call, He's really mad i just told him im sick and i dont have time to go out since im busy with my new job..Thats the last time we talked, I deleted his number and tottaly decided to forget everything about him..Yes, I came to my senses, i dont know why i waited for 3 years to get over him..I ended everything just like that, I dont contact our common friends..deleted all their numbers and started everything..
I sometimes saw our friends, Theyre mad at me, Well i understand cuz they never really know what happened...
I was surprised that They knew..i never confronted that guy, I never asked him about that message i saw, i never made it clear whats the real score between me and him, Everything is still blurry to me..He added me in Facebook, I had a second thought if But in the end i accepted his friend request..2 months has passed he never asked how am i doing and stuff, not until today, He sent me a message asking how am i doing..
continue..........
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
If Only...
i just hurt someone who loves me unconditionably,turn him away until his heart gave up.im the reason of the million painful tears dried in his pillow,im the reason that prayers of death linger in the four walls of his room…
finally his happy….with her
and now the time and life has a funny way of avenging the grief that enveloped him for so long.because now it is i who is now staring blankly in the wall,it is my tears that witnessing the pain of losing him..
“if onlys” are the words of a human in defeat,realizing that its all over for her..
if only i told him im sorry..
if only i held him tight to let him know that while im hurting him,i was hurting too
“if onlys” are desperate words that will never bring back the time that my heart longs for,”if only”...
another Gloomy day...
Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Today I learned...
I work because i want to not because i need to..too much pressure right now! i cant really tell that my Job sucks! cuz im having fun and i love doing it..its just that my Boss is like a big pain in the ass!! I tried to understand every piece of him! but i just cant..im not a quitter so ill make sure that hell quit first before me! fighting Jessie Fighting!!
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