Meeting you was fate. becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over..

Everybody hurts… sometimes.



I know its okay to feel the hurt, the pain and to be drowned in melancholy. After all, It makes me feel I am human... I am still human.

I was afraid at first. I didnt know what to do. I was confused, so confused that I need to ask for my friend's opinions.

Give it a try. Who knows, maybe he is the one you've been waiting for. The one you've been asking for. The one who could satisfy your needs and make you feel safe always. The one you can cherish and lastly, the one who will LOVE you.



LOVE? I never heard about it since my last relationship. Love is full of surprises. Love is always associated with pain and sacrifices. Love is sharing, caring and giving. Love is a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.



What is LOVE? for me, Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. But since then, Love is just another word I never learned to pronounce...



With the hunger for "love" and missing the feeling of being "in-love", I took my chance. Who can tell, this might going to be one amazing life. but I'm still afraid... afraid it may not work. afraid it may not be as good as i could think of. afraid of falling and not knowing if there is a solid ground below. afraid of being the first to fall in love and the first to feel the hurt. afraid of everything...



I still pushed my luck. chatting. exchanging thoughts and point of views. asking things i never thought i could ask. jokes. play time. mellow-dramatic lines. over-reacting traits. demands. tears. unethical behaviors. boredom. missing-you punchlines. songs to rekindle. dramas. serious-to-kidding talks. perversion. crying-time. love and romance. all over again...



And the hardest part of all... the moment of truth. Am I ready to set the fire to the third bar? Am I ready to take my chance again? Am I ready to whatever is going to happen? Am I ready to love again?

I'm so scared... not the fact that things might go on my way, but I am scared for my heart.. My fragile heart that was broken before... I dont think I could endure another pain...



Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love one another.

There's definitely a dangerous feeling when you're in love.. it's giving your heart to someone else and knowing that they have control over your feelings. I know for me, who always tries to be so tough, that's the dangerous thing. Your enemies, whether perceived or known, can never hurt you the way your loved ones can....It is the people closer to your heart that can give it the most piercing wound!

It is always a roller coaster ride. Points where you’ll be at the very top almost reaching The God above and at a dreadfully bottom almost friends with Satan.



Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest...



Life is indeed full of contradictions. Sometimes, its crazy to be sane. You need to fall to fly. People suffer because you care. You have to unlearn to know the lesson. You have to give up because you are strong. You have to be wrong to make things right. once i think it is the right thing to do, i persists my beliefs no matter how costly it would be.



And after all is said and done... I will stay... I will wait... I have been waiting for so long and the opportunity that I have at this moment, I have to hold on to it. I have to work for it. I should keep on chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere. To love you was a treason against my religion but not to love you is a treason against my heart...

Friends..

Sa sobrang dami kong friends hindi ko na malaman kung sinong totoo at sinong hindi..nagkamali ba ako ng taong kineep? karma na nga ata to kasi sobrang ang dami kong kinalimutan na dating kaibigan..ngayon sa sobrang dami kong "akala" na friends pag may gusto akong ishare na mga bagay bagay hindi ko na alam kung kanino..kung tama bang sa isang bagong kaibigan na gusto ko mang ikeep hindi ko maramdaman ang importance ko..masyado bang mataas ang expectations ko sa mga friends ko? o i truly deserve this kasi i dont know how to keep and treasure my friends? hayz..ang hirap..

Broken Glass..

Hidden

Blurry Love story ( First hearbreak at 19)

Yes indeed, Been like 5 years since we last talked, LOOOONG story, Well to make it short theres this guy i used to love... what do you expect? I'm a new employee, plus its my first job after graduating from college seriously when i first came in and introduced by our supervisor, He caught my attention, Not just because HES HOT..but because hes smiling at me..Being my usual self which is cheerful and always has smiles for everyone i smiled back..Thats how it started, He was introduced to me as my Team Leader, I cant look at him straight..maybe because I already liked him that time..As days passed, i looked forward coming in to work just to see him..Im not a typical girl, I dont put make ups, dont wear Dresses etc. Im a Jeans and Shirt kind of girl..Thats before, Before i met him..i never tell anyone that i like him, But he treats me really special, that made me fall for him more..We became Bestfriends, We shared a very special feeling that we never talked about nor tell our friends. We do what a usual lovers do, Date, etc. But again what we had is not clear...(This is why i dont consider him as one of my Bf's)
Worst comes to worst Indeed love is addicting, He knows everything about me, But all i hear from him is hes living with his Aunt and cousin, Ive been thinking that hes very reserved when it comes to his everyday life..Hes always in a hurry to go home, eventho i know where he lived he never invited me inside..I'm hearing rumors that hes dating someone and hes living with her..I confirmed that rumor, I accidentally saw a message on his Phone that goes like this "Babe Where are you now? i cooked your favorite food..come home quick" He didnt know that all those time im aware that hes with someone I ignore all that cuz i really love him, I confronted him once asking this, "tell me, Are you living with someone?" and he said "yeah i live with my Aunt and cousin" I closed my eyes...cuz i dont want to see him lying to me..What hurts more is that Hes sending me messages that are not supposed to be for me..Time flies soo fast that i didnt even noticed that its been 3 years and im still crazy over him.....Until..
He moved to a different company and so am i... I noticed that i dont missed him that much..We still often see each other but the feeling of excitement is not there anymore..Well I can say that Hes moooore excited to see me..Days Months, I spent it with my new friends..i dont reply back on his txt messages and even answer his phone calls, He got really mad at me and even threatened me that he'll go to my house and talk to my dad (I'm really afraid that time cuz my dad never knew that we shared something different from what they thought we are) I answered his phone call, He's really mad i just told him im sick and i dont have time to go out since im busy with my new job..Thats the last time we talked, I deleted his number and tottaly decided to forget everything about him..Yes, I came to my senses, i dont know why i waited for 3 years to get over him..I ended everything just like that, I dont contact our common friends..deleted all their numbers and started everything..
I sometimes saw our friends, Theyre mad at me, Well i understand cuz they never really know what happened...
I was surprised that They knew..i never confronted that guy, I never asked him about that message i saw, i never made it clear whats the real score between me and him, Everything is still blurry to me..He added me in Facebook, I had a second thought if But in the end i accepted his friend request..2 months has passed he never asked how am i doing and stuff, not until today, He sent me a message asking how am i doing..
continue..........

Manila Penninsula (Bathroom)

Where am i?

Thelma Aoyama cover

soba ni iru ne cover by Jessie | Upload Music

If Only...

i just hurt someone who loves me unconditionably,turn him away until his heart gave up.im the reason of the million painful tears dried in his pillow,im the reason that prayers of death linger in the four walls of his room…

finally his happy….with her

and now the time and life has a funny way of avenging the grief that enveloped him for so long.because now it is i who is now staring blankly in the wall,it is my tears that witnessing the pain of losing him..

“if onlys” are the words of a human in defeat,realizing that its all over for her..
if only i told him im sorry..
if only i held him tight to let him know that while im hurting him,i was hurting too
“if onlys” are desperate words that will never bring back the time that my heart longs for,”if only”...

another Gloomy day...

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.

I love you soo..Love is a beautiful one...

T_T crying...

Today I learned...

I work because i want to not because i need to..too much pressure right now! i cant really tell that my Job sucks! cuz im having fun and i love doing it..its just that my Boss is like a big pain in the ass!! I tried to understand every piece of him! but i just cant..im not a quitter so ill make sure that hell quit first before me! fighting Jessie Fighting!!

Letting go..

i havent got any sleep yesterday..i dont know its like something is bothering me..its my first time experiencing this and i dont know why...i just cant get over him..the songs im hearing that my neighbor is singing outside my window, the name im seeing in different sites, its like they keep on reminding me of this guy...i dont know..im not even sure about my feelings for him..i thought i just like him, i thought im just fascinated cuz hes korean? i thought he like me mooore than i like him..at first i dont really care about him..i just forced my self to like him..but why is it like this? after i decided to end things with this guy...his memories keeps on coming back..i can still remember his sweet words clearly..i can still remember how we argue..i can still remember how we have fun watching movies and even UFC..everything is just perfect..we planned things..we share our future plans together..i dont know why it ended like this..sorry if i chose not continue and end everything by just disappearing from your life..i just thought this is the best thing for both of us..i'm sorry if i made you believe that everything we shared are all Lies...Im sorry for coming in to your life and leave without saying anything nor goodbye..if im bothered because youre bothered too then im sorry..time will come youll forget me..time will come that youll never even remember the time we shared..time will come that youll forget all the feelings you have for me..Ill treasure you forever.."my one great love" -

You used to sing this song to me..

2nd day

soo tired from work..got alot of things to do! well it doesnt matter cuz i know youre just there busy with something you really love to do? maybe? lol im wondrin what youre doing right now..i cant wait to see you..anyways ive been posting things about my past relationships..on how much im hurting..its been almost a year since we last talk but idk i still miss this guy..he live too far away from me...everything is just too perfect..dont get jealous if you guys are 2 different persons..but if youre the same guy that i used to love..im really glad that you found me..youre my forever love afterall..

Baby...

Hi Baby..its almost 8am in the mornin and im having fun taking pics of my fave collections..i wonder what time is it in your place! hows last night? Im dying to know if you also like to collect cute stuff? well if youre too manly for this maybe youre collecting something that a man will collect right? lolz im dying to see you...have fun baby..

NEW IDEA..

ahmm..im actually thinking on what to do next in this blog other than posting my song for the day, words of wisdom etc..this blog is also becoming like my personal diary..since im always on and not much of a "pen holder" lol well eversince i graduated and finished my studies i barely hold a pen to write so all my planners just went to waste..mianhe? lol My boss gave me an idea about talking to someone i havent met yet..meaning my future hubby? from now on ill be posting things like im talking to HIM..so this blog will be like my own diary for HIM...:D

Today

just walk up..and listening to my fave song! well actually i got alot of fave song and it changes all the time lol but for now im currently listening to this song..

My daily Dose.....

rewatching this...i love taeyang <3 and ofcourse the song..the ring used on this vid kinda remind me of the ring that was given to me by a special someone..

Sick...

not feeling well since last monday...2 more days and its weekend..SATURDAY CAN YOU COME ALREADY??? HAAYYY!

Currently listening to SHE...

Today I learned...

We must learn to view change as a natural phenomenon - to anticipate it and to plan for it. The future is ours to channel in the direction we want to go... we must continually ask ourselves, "What will happen if...?" or better still, "How can we make it happen?"
~Lisa Taylor~

My daily Dose.....

soothing...currently listening to this :)

Today i learned...

That no matter how you tried to keep the relationship peaceful..there are evil forces to make sure its ruined!

Today...

I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

iTS THE 2ND DAY OF THE YEAR..

Its the second day of year..today i learned that i should stop relieving the past, start working and think about my future..These colors represent how i feel..hmmmmm

Youre beautiful OST cover

Youre beautiful OST cover | Music Upload

*****
lolz sucky huh? i love this drama and tried to record my own version..hope you guys like it :D good way to start the year huh? been out for almost 2 months..